The One That Got Away

It was the last day of deer season. Joe had been out in his tree stand early enough to relax and enjoy the sunrise

Now, he was shivering. The cold had seeped into his bones, but it wasn’t the cold that had him shivering.

Right there, just beyond the clearing, stood the biggest buck he’d ever seen.

“This thing was a monster, Karen,” Joe said, waving his arms for emphasis as he told his wife the story that evening. “I’m talking ten, maybe twelve, even twenty points. The kind of buck you mount on the wall and tell stories about for years.”

“He stepped right into my sights, broadside, perfect shot.”

Karen nodded, half-listening as she stirred a pot of soup. “Mmm-hmm, and let me guess—something went wrong?”

Joe huffed. “Of course, something went wrong. I was steady, ready to pull the trigger, and then—WHAM! Right in my face! A squirrel!”

“Not just any squirrel. No! No! No! Karen, this was some kind of psychotic, kamikaze fur missile!”

Karen turned to him, one eyebrow raised. “A squirrel?”

Even the dog looked baffled.

“That’s right karen. A squirrel!”

“It launched itself from the branch above me, smacked me right in the forehead, and then scampered down my gun barrel…”

“Just like it was auditioning for the circus!”

Karen burst out laughing, but Joe wasn’t done.

“So I’m flailing, trying to get this thing off me, and the buck? He just stands there, watching this unfold like he’s enjoying the show.

And the moment I finally get my gun back up? Gone. Nadda. Nothing! Just a white tail disappearing into the woods. The one that got away.”

Karen wiped tears from her eyes. “So, let me get this straight—you were outsmarted… by a squirrel?”

Joe grumbled. “Not just any squirrel. A highly trained, precision-timed, deer-saving squirrel. I swear, that buck and the squirrel were in on it together.”

Karen patted his shoulder. “Well, look at the bright side—you gave the animals a good laugh today.”

Joe sighed. “Yeah, yeah. But next year? That squirrel better watch out.”